The Unseen and In Between
This short blurb is continued from my Instagram. I've been wanting to share and talk about the Lifetime Grand Prix docuseries for a while and have been so busy escaping winter and riding that I just haven't had time to put some words down. So when Haley (she's always inspiring me!) posted about her experience yesterday, I followed suit. She offered some behind the scenes perspective from last season’s docuseries, ‘A Call of a Lifetime’. If you haven’t watched it, you should check it out, they did a great job capturing the intensity of competition and specifically racing a 6 part off-road series.
It has felt a bit like having to listen to your own voice on a voicemail, if you know what I mean! With these episodes you are watching a snippet of our thoughts, emotions, ideas amidst a stressful event. Each interview was squeezed in before a big race, and we were cast as a character that helped tell a bigger story.
It’s a beautiful and complex process, creating something like this that’s consumable and digestible for the viewer, not a small task. And though none of us are actors or actresses, it does feel like you’re watching a weird version of yourself on the screen.
I tried to be as honest and authentic as possible on camera, but you still only get a few minutes of one liners and highlights, it’s impossible to show exactly who you are. Even with this app, you share an image and some words, albeit your own but still, it’s only a surface snippet of the whole story. We all know this, but especially with video it's hard to watch it and remember that there are still so many moments unseen.
I was definitely shown as the goofy, fun haver, and that is absolutely a part of who I am. But i'm also the nervous nelly, the driven perfectionist, the introverted extravert, the pre-race oatmeal crier, and often times the overwhelming worrier.
You didn’t get to see me feeling like an idiot trying to figure out which bottles to fill with what and send to which feed zone. The stress over what type of tire to run and what width, who is wearing a pack? Do I? What is the weather going to do? Am I stressing Ellen and Howard out? Did Norman get a walk? I saw that so-and-so did a big training week, I got sick, I’m screwed.
There is a real person in there with fears, failures, accomplishments and goals.
It's not that I mind the perception of the fun-haver, I just want to make it known that the archetype of "one who always has fun" isn't the reality. It's a default setting for fleeting moments but not the consistent state of being. The same goes for any and all of us. Humans like to try to organize things simply and cleanly, put things in boxes, but the true art is what is unseen and in between. Just remember that those parts exist!
If you want a good laugh, and a true unscripted moment, you can watch this episode where the real star was my dog, Norman, and his new chicken "friend".